Building and cultivating intimacy in a relationship is like going on a journey to an exotic place called love. It is an experience that must be savored and not rushed. And here is where the fun begins. Each couple must define and map out their own unique journey. A journey that will lead you down a path to personal wholeness'. Sex is truly a joyful celebration between two people who love each other. Sex should never be down played as just another recreational sport or a fulfillment of ones own personal needs. Remember, GOD created sex, it wasn't created for us in some dark place to hide away and experience. GOD doesn't keep sex from us, GOD keeps sex for us. It is the giving of oneself, and not the taking from another that makes sex so fulfilling. Women have the gift of sex and men have a great need for sex. Men don't just want sex, they need it to be men.
From the abundance of the heart the mouth truly speaks. True love is paved with patient and unselfish consistency which nurtures a mature relationship. Men have scaled mountains, slain dragons and built civilizations for the love of a woman and women have given birth to a linage of kings, queens and mighty nations because of the love they have for their man. Read the Song of Solomon and truly understand how a man and woman become one spiritually and physically.
Remember desperate infatuation can quickly turn into deep seated hostility when all you have in common are hormones. When we learn how to move beyond the impulses of youthful lust, hopefully with out damaging the people that we encounter along the way, we should then learn that love is more than just an emotional and physical feeling. Because charm is deceptive, emotions and feelings are fleeting, they can be here today and gone tomorrow. Males and females will never fulfill each others every need completely. It isn't fair to believe that any human is responsible for our happiness. But true and mature love involves making a decision and the commitment to love no matter what. Because we all want to be loved unconditionally, no matter what. If you only live for the exciting and thrilling moments that you think love will hold, that is very short lived. And continuously chasing that feeling only repeats the cycle to obtain that same spontaneous empty feeling over and over again with a different face in a different place.
To love starts with a choice of your will, and not just because of some embedded imprint on your emotions that has given you a warm feeling inside by that "Special Someone." And over time your choice to love becomes a state of mind, a merging of two souls, a soul soothing experience that carries you through life's challenging journey on this earthly plain with the love that you know you can count on.
Love slowly reaches into your soul and captures the essences of who you are in that intimate relationship. But when we are young, women play at sex to get love and men play at love to get sex. Many times all of that play leads to some level of emotional pain. And as we mature and leave our childish ways behind, hopefully we learn how to prepare for the ultimate role of being a committed, mature and loving spouse.
Because most people initially have pretty high expectations with low preparation when it comes to establishing a relationship, as we mature we soon learn that there is a big difference between being in love and being a loving person. Marriage is an eternal covenant between two people not to be entered into lightly. A truly fulfilling marriage is reserved for those who are willing to give of themselves unselfishly to their mate. Remember, marriage is not just about what's in it for you. Marriage is not about finding the right partner. Marriage is about being the right partner. Marriage is a journey that resurrects your life experiences daily. This experience shows you who you really are.
Weather we are from Mars or from Venus, our souls long for the emotional bonding and the intimacy that a physical relationship brings, with the kind sensitive touch of another human in our lives. The power of love is an awesome and very healing experience, it frees our soul to feel alive. And sexual intimacy in a loving, nurturing relationship can at times leave you speechless. With nurturing love comes a mature attitude and not a self centered attitude. When you bring your best self into your relationship, you then become open to a greater level of love and healing.
There is in every man "a king and a fool." There is in every woman "a queen and a witch." It is who you speak to in that man or that woman that will create their response to you. A man will hear a woman when she speaks to his deepest need for honor and respect. A women will hear a man if he speaks to her need to feel secure with you in your relationship with her. If we understand that the soft voice of a women turns away wrath within her home and relationships, our lives will change when we do. Anger in a women is like a bitter pill that leaves a bad taste. A women must not deny her feelings, but anger and bitterness offers no solution to what ever you face. And if we understand that a man's untamed ego and infidelity destroys trust and emotional security in his home and relationship, his relationship will grow cold, unwanting and stale. Women aren't the weaker sex, women are the meeker sex. Meekness simple means strength under control. And countless men look for just that attribute in women.
If you must explode, do it in the presence of GOD. Because he will not judge you, but others usually will. Remember, it's a mans world, but its a women's universe. A man whom his mate can not trust, is a man destined to have a very difficult relationship with his mate. When a man earns and maintains the respect of his spouse and family, this is a blessed man. Men are born leaders, but all men don't know how to or have the courage to lead and women are born with the power of influence and persuasion but don't always understand how to positively influence their mate. Men must lead fairly if they want to be respected. And women must use the power of their influence to speak to the man in the boy, no mater what his age, and not to make the man feel like a boy. Because love truly does conquers all.
Men and women are different, and it's OK. Men internalize their thoughts and feelings when they process their emotions, women verbalize their thoughts and feelings when they process their emotions. Men talk directly to an issue, women talk around and issue. Men feel about their hearts when they are in love the way women feel about their bodies when they are in love. GOD created us equal, but different.
Here are a few helpful hint for marriage bliss - Spontaneity has its place, but should not be at the expense of your relationship by seeking partner after partner because of sexual boredom. There is proper behavior and improper behavior for satisfying sexual relations. Men and women many times struggle with marital creativity, how to keep the sparks flying and the flames glowing. Remember, GOD love you both and wants you both to experience sexual fulfillment. Learn to cultivate your love in faith with your mate. Never mount a military campaign in your home ;o). Agree that you will NEVER go to bed angry with each other. Because day by day if unresolved, your anger can turn into bitterness, resentment and contempt for your mate. Admit to each other that there is a lack of understanding regarding each others point of view about how you both may feel about an issue. Why, because men and women many times see and feel different about the very same situation. A wife is a true blessing in a mans life and a husband is a protector of his wife and children. Remember, a smart man realized early that a happy life means that he has a happy wife, and a smart woman will find and tenderly nurture and respect the little boy inside of her man. If you want a godly woman you must be a godly man. The same holds true for a woman.
Just for MEN. Are you more like Mr. Rogers or Mr. T. There are advantages to being a little bit like both. A healthy woman wants a confident, strong, assertive man at her side like Mr. T, but she also want a man who is kind, caring and makes her feel loved and important like Mr. Rogers. Well in the real world it's not easy to be that perfect combination. But a true man will attempt to please his marital mate by learning to express his love for her in her place of need. On the flip side, women are learning that they have got to share the power. Some women have to be lovingly told that, you've got to know how to let a man be a real man. And it's not hard to do when a women loves and respect her true man. A true man earns and commands the respect that keeps him grounded. Are you called to be a true man?
